I just had one of the most significant breakthroughs in my own healing journey and I wanted to share it with you in case it’s something you need to shift as well
Gratefully, I have been able to spend 18 months working through the burnout of 15 years of giving but not allowing myself to receive. Being a Massage Therapist means you give a lot of your energy, and it is physically demanding as well. On top of that I was juggling a young family, huge mortgage, running a business, and felt the guilt anytime I took time out for selfcare. The thing is I would talk to my clients about how important it was to take time out and not feel guilty about it. I would be talking to myself as well but that is another post entirely and one I will get to as there were some great breakthroughs in that area as well.
All of this work I have been doing is because I have known for years it was time to start SHOWING UP and PLAYING BIG. I had been hiding for too long! It was time to start using all of my skills to help other women. Women in business, women in service and women who are ready to start showing up fully in their own lives.
Ok on to the breakthrough…
Last week the limiting belief that came to the surface was “fear of getting it wrong.” (Fear is usually at the core of a belief and the brain uses them to “keep you safe” )
I know I have had this one all my life and would talk myself through it when I realised it was triggered but I hadn’t been able to really “clear it”
So yesterday I was standing at the sink doing the dishes (procrastinating on writing up a post to …tell others about what I do) and asking myself what is it? “Why am I still so worried about what people will think or if anyone will be interested. I have declared I am ready so just go and write a post”
So I left the dishes in the sink and went and grabbed my journal and started writing (This is my favorite way of working through what is in my subconscious ready to be shifted. I write whatever comes to mind no matter what it is and after a few minutes I find the feelings start bubbling up to the surface.)
Well…..it came! I realised that I was afraid of not only getting exposed, which is the fear of putting myself out there but also getting it “ wrong” with my clients.
Many of us healers have had lifetimes of the “gift” to help others in their healing and often we were seen as witches or shamans and had to hide our abilities for fear of persecution because for the most part they didn’t understand how we did what we did. It had to be magic. So if we got it “wrong” (or more accurately, couldn’t help someone as they were meant to make their transition and nothing we did would have “healed” them) we would be blamed for it, we would then be outed by the family and attention brought to our “wicked ways” then tried and put to death or tortured and then put to death. So we had to hide ourselves and our gifts and only show them to the trusted ones.
Now logically I know I am not going to be tried and put to death in this lifetime but the subconscios is still trying to keep me safe and so I have been over-riding this fear for years but it wouldn’t fully clear.
I found the missing piece yesterday….
Whether you believe in past lives or not it doesn’t matter. Our beliefs create a program very much like a computer and that program runs in our subconscious mind. This program gets triggered to run in certain situations, all in the name of keeping us safe! We may know something logically but at some point along the way we have had a thought or feeling and decided it was true, in this case it is the belief that if I get it wrong I put myself in a life threatening situation. Our conscious mind knows it does not apply but our subconscious is still running the program to keep us safe. So it starts to sabotage or override your conscious actions and thoughts with fear to get you to stop.
What was this belief? It was the full consequences, the weight of getting it wrong.
If I got it wrong when mixing up herbs and they were poisoned or I didn’t know how to heal someone, the expectations of helping this person was on me. This person who is in real pain or possibly had a life threatening injury or disease. If I got it wrong, they could die. If I got it wrong I could be blamed. I could be exposed. If I got it wrong my reputation was ruined. If I got it wrong I could get tried and sent to death…..
Huge!!!
I talk about this to my Reiki students all the time! We are the facilitators, we don’t “heal” people, we are here to channel energy and hold space, offer our advice from our base of knowledge and intuition but we do not do the work you do.
Even doctors don’t heal people, they give you advice, direction and prescribe what they believe is going to help you from their own base of knowledge and from what has worked with others before you.
We can offer guidance of what could be helpful but each person has to do the work themselves. I am not responsible for another person’s healing!
I am not responsible for your healing, You are! You are the one that choses when and what is ready to be resolved. You choose how quickly and to what level you are ready to move through these lessons. I am here to support, guide, empower, shine a light and cheer for you!
So I know logically that I am not responsible for other peoples growth and healing and I will not be burned at the stake for talking about channeling, healing and herbs that might support your health but somewhere along the line the fear of getting it wrong was so powerful that it created a belief that if I put myself out there, if I talk about these things, I put myself in mortal danger. And because our brains are super efficient they don’t bother bringing up all the past instances or explain why it’s activating this belief in this situation, it just activates the “whoa don’t do that its dangerous” feeling.
Now what? Like anything new it takes awareness and perseverance and when the fear pops up I tell it not to worry, I got this! I am gonna be fine. Over time this belief will fade and the program will become obsolete!
We healers have to start SHOWING UP!
In this new way of living, those with a gift for healing, teaching, nurturing and empowering others are needed, now more than ever, to support their clients with the stress and transitions we are all going through.
Now more than any other time we need to heal ourselves! We need to trust in our own knowledge and intuition and we need to support each other to light our beacon within and shine bright so others too can find us and be supported! LIke smoke signals, Light your fire!
When we heal ourselves, we raise our vibrations and that in turn helps to raise the vibrations of all around us, our families and friends and it gives them permission to heal themselves.
There is so much fear and divisiveness happening and we are needed in the world right now! We need to be there holding the space for those that are ready to take responsibility for their own healing. We need to be making conversations about alternative ways of healing a normal topic of conversation!
If you want help igniting your beacon within and getting to the bottom of whatever it is that is keeping you from showing up, please contact me! I am showing up for you!